I just watched an episode of The Office about New Years' resolutions, and it reminded me that I haven't been doing too well with mine. I began 2011 as I'm sure most people did - slightly hungover yet optimistic - but can feel myself slumping. I think I need to put my goals out in the universe for everyone to see so that I feel accountable in some way. So here they are.
- Learn to cook for one. (And yes, I realize that this was also Andy Bernard's resolution. This is a very scary coincidence.) Cooking for one is actually not nearly as simple as it would seem. Adjusting measurements, buying the minimal amount of groceries, storing leftovers, making maximum use of produce, all without spending a disproportionate amount of money and throwing a ton of food away, is actually pretty complicated. And I have no interest in living with anyone other than Sammy (a dog) and Frank (a fish) any time in the foreseeable future, so it's a skill I must master. I ordered several cookbooks to this effect, but the farthest I ever got was sitting down with a glass of wine to pick out a recipe for that evening, then opting for another glass of wine and some Thai leftovers instead. So, no, things aren't going well on that front. Needs improvement.
- Exercise. (Just a little.) I happen to be very lucky in that fact that I live a basically sedentary lifestyle and still manage to look all right in a swimsuit. I eat an ungodly amount of fast food and drink about a gallon of soda a day, I haven't voluntarily gone jogging in months now, and there's a weight machine in the spare room that has become the official drying rack for my delicate laundry. I'm not proud of myself; I see this as a huge problem. My current metabolic luck will eventually run out (I can't stay twenty-three forever, alas), and I won't have a single shred of self-control or self-discipline to my name. So I need to get in the habit of exercising! Fortunately, I do love being outdoors and spend quite a bit of time there - I just happen to be usually sitting or walking leisurely. Maybe I can channel this into some dorky, healthy hobby. Like Frisbee golf. Needs improvement.
- Read 80-100 of the London Times' Top 100 Books of the Decade. Number 100 is The Position by Meg Wolitzer, which I haven't started yet. On the bright side, I've already read Twilight (no. 90), Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (no. 17), Reading Lolita in Tehran (no. 14), and Atonement (no. 9). Then again, those are only four books of a hundred, and only one of them is among the twenty I've resolved to get through this year. Eh. Satisfactory.
- Cut back on the soda. As a mentioned before, I am a fiend for soda. Pepsi, Coca Cola, Dr. Pepper, and, yes, even Fanta, Sunkist, Big Red. And the only diet soda I can really stomach is Diet Root Beer, so I am getting disgusting amounts of sugar every day (which may or may not be worse than creepy artificial sweetener, but who knows). I have a serious problem. So I decided to cut it back to ONE a day, which isn't difficult for most people but is pretty hard for me. So far, I've managed to cut back to two most days and drink Perrier with lemon the rest of the time. Satisfactory.
- Curse less. Yes, I curse like a sailor. Like a drunk sailor. There's actually something perversely graceful about it. I don't just curse; I weave a "tapestry of obscenity," as Ralphie would say. Strangely enough, this is not a marketable skill. Fortunately, I've spent a lot of time around family over the past few weeks and have had to majorly hold myself back. I've slipped a few times (which my mother just loved, let me tell you), but I'm getting it under control. Of course, the true test will come when I inevitably walk into an inanimate object (as I have a tendency to do) and break my little toe or something. My inner she-pirate might just rear her ugly head. Until then, I will report on myself as: Excellent.
 |
| (one more unofficial resolution: don't turn into amy winehouse) |
