haterade: taylor swift

My most recent wave of vitriol toward Taylor Swift has arisen because of her latest c.d. release, her appearance on the cover of People, and the news that she is dating Jake Gyllenhaal. (I'm not particularly fond of Jake, but he did date my girl Reese Witherspoon for a long time. You've made a big downgrade, pervo.) And now that Taylor Swift is dating someone who has a somewhat serious film career, I will be forced to see and hear her even more often than usual, which is just very unfortunate. I really wish that someone would smack her. Me preferably, but I would settle for someone else doing it and me being able to watch.

omg so hardcore

First of all, I don't think she's very creative or talented. There are a lot of very skilled and inspired female singer/songwriters out there who do the same thing Swiftie does except, um, much much better. So why exactly Taylor is so special, I do not know. I mean, yes her music is catchy...I suppose. But so is the Free Credit Report.com jingle. Actually much catchier.

And I'm sorry, but I can't really take anyone who writes heartbreak songs after the demise of like a 5-week romance with one of the Jonas brothers seriously. Get a grip, girl. Keep that crap to your diary, don't make the rest of us listen to it over...and over...and over. Taylor Swift is one of the main reasons that I no longer change my tuner from NPR and AM Radio. (I'm not joking. There are several factors in my abandonment of music radio, but she is definitely one of them.) If I stray beyond there, I might hear one of her songs for the 1458th time and my ear drums will start to bleed. I just. Can't. Take. It. Anymore.

And, by the way, am I the only person who is driven crazy by these asinine lyrics: You were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter/ And Daddy said stay away from Juliet. These words have haunted me ever since that song came out and I've been repeatedly subjected to it. I would love to ask Taylor what exactly she's talking about. Does she know what either a scarlet letter or The Scarlet Letter is? Does she understand that it is completely unrelated and makes no sense in her song, not even in an abstract metaphorical sense? This may be nitpicky and petty, but I don't care. It bugs me. Taylor should lay off writing her obnoxious music and pick up a book or something.


Ok, I got it off my chest. I know I'm being mean. But it's not exactly like she's minding her own business. Mind you, I make an actual effort to avoid her but cannot. So she started it.