haterade: giant squid

Am I the only person who is just incredibly freaked out by the idea of the giant squid? I guess I'm a bit behind, but I had no idea these things were real. I recently found out that researchers from the Japan's National Science Museum actually caught one on film. And, unlike in Harry Potter, apparently giant squids are not likely to let you tickle their tentacles. This news has completely changed my entire perspective on life.

omigod

 Why I will have nightmares about giant squids tonight:

1. The one they got was 24 feet long, and it's a small one. They actually are estimated to reach nearly 60 feet in length, although they live so deep down in the ocean that they're very difficult to observe in the wild.

are you serious

2. They're vicious! I just read about a poor dead female who was dismembered and washed up on shore in Tazmania, apparently the victim of what can only be called squid rape. What's the world coming to. (By the way, I'm talking about a female squid, not human...eesh.)

3. Giant squids have beaks and circular saw-like suckers. I repeat: beaks & tentacles of death.

4. These things have only one known predator: Sperm whales. Sperm whales are the largest living animals with teeth. Moby Dick was one. They're huge and scary. And they're the only thing in the wild that can take on a giant squid. Sooo.

team sperm whale!

As you may recall, I get upset about animal extinction. But if all giant squids were suddenly to collectively disappear from the face of the earth, I think I'd get over.

Great news! There's another species of squid out there know as the Colossal Squid, which may or may not be scarier than the Giant Squid. Well, that's fun.

haterade: gadhafi

Well, "haterade" is a massive understatement. Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is a nut - We all knew that. And the fact that he's actually trying to blame the unrest in his country on al-Qaida and hallucinogen-spiked coffee (yes, that's right) merely reaffirms the fact that this guy is completely off his rocker. And, worst of all, he's a murderer. We don't know how many he's killed, and probably never will. We do know that he's handing out automatic weapons like candy to his supporters, who he's sent to go terrorize the capital. Yesterday Obama "got tough" by freezing Gadhafi's assets. Meanwhile, anti-government protestors are being picked off by snipers in Tripoli on Gadhafi's orders. Um, yeah, this guy needs to be taken out.

haterade: glee

I hated tonight's Glee! Ugh, ugh, ugh. This was my go-to happy show. I feel betrayed. Let me rant for just one moment please:

Finn is a sleazebag. Quinn is a hoe. He's stupid and she's evil. (And yes, I liked them both very much prior to this episode.) I thought that Sam and Quinn's relationship was so cute, especially because he's friggin precious, so I'm not happy with this new development. The kissing booth and the fireworks-when-they-kissed-thing made me wanna barf. I didn't like any of the songs except for "Firework," and I had to wait like 40 minutes for that. I was really grossed out by Blaine's little show in Gap (yes, he is another character that I adored PRIOR to this episode), and I don't want Kurt to go for him anymore - and I know he will, which is another reason I'm irritated. Santana actually was propelled up my list of likable characters, which is a bizarre development. And I missed the diabolical Sue; a few hateful comments from her would've made me feel better.

The only redeeming quality? Puck and Lauren, for obvious reasons. Also "Firework."

And no, I'm not crazy. I don't think these are real people...My righteous indignation is directed at the writers. Um, why can't they tailor the show specifically to what I want to see? Ugh...The fact that I'm getting so upset over this probably indicates that I need a glass of wine and a good night's sleep.

haterade: taylor swift

My most recent wave of vitriol toward Taylor Swift has arisen because of her latest c.d. release, her appearance on the cover of People, and the news that she is dating Jake Gyllenhaal. (I'm not particularly fond of Jake, but he did date my girl Reese Witherspoon for a long time. You've made a big downgrade, pervo.) And now that Taylor Swift is dating someone who has a somewhat serious film career, I will be forced to see and hear her even more often than usual, which is just very unfortunate. I really wish that someone would smack her. Me preferably, but I would settle for someone else doing it and me being able to watch.

omg so hardcore

First of all, I don't think she's very creative or talented. There are a lot of very skilled and inspired female singer/songwriters out there who do the same thing Swiftie does except, um, much much better. So why exactly Taylor is so special, I do not know. I mean, yes her music is catchy...I suppose. But so is the Free Credit Report.com jingle. Actually much catchier.

And I'm sorry, but I can't really take anyone who writes heartbreak songs after the demise of like a 5-week romance with one of the Jonas brothers seriously. Get a grip, girl. Keep that crap to your diary, don't make the rest of us listen to it over...and over...and over. Taylor Swift is one of the main reasons that I no longer change my tuner from NPR and AM Radio. (I'm not joking. There are several factors in my abandonment of music radio, but she is definitely one of them.) If I stray beyond there, I might hear one of her songs for the 1458th time and my ear drums will start to bleed. I just. Can't. Take. It. Anymore.

And, by the way, am I the only person who is driven crazy by these asinine lyrics: You were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter/ And Daddy said stay away from Juliet. These words have haunted me ever since that song came out and I've been repeatedly subjected to it. I would love to ask Taylor what exactly she's talking about. Does she know what either a scarlet letter or The Scarlet Letter is? Does she understand that it is completely unrelated and makes no sense in her song, not even in an abstract metaphorical sense? This may be nitpicky and petty, but I don't care. It bugs me. Taylor should lay off writing her obnoxious music and pick up a book or something.


Ok, I got it off my chest. I know I'm being mean. But it's not exactly like she's minding her own business. Mind you, I make an actual effort to avoid her but cannot. So she started it.