love her: helena bonham carter

I love kooky celebrities. And Helena Bonham Carter is about as kooky as they come. I love her for choosing 'out-there' roles (including Marla Singer and Bellatrix Lestrange, my two faves to-date), for being married to Tim Burton (brave lady), and for never seeming to give a fig about what other people think. She strikes me as a very interesting and confident woman.

And because she's so unusual, I think some people forget how pretty she is. Here's a few of my favorite photographs of her:

Don't you just love her, too?

my stint as a casting director

So I'm constantly hearing rumors about film/mini-series adaptations of Diana Gabaldon's amazing Outlander saga. For those of you who haven't read it, it's a romantic-historical-science fiction tale about a British woman who is transported back into the 18th century Scottish highlands. It's a wonderfully engrossing series that I highly recommend.

The downside is that, because the stories are so detailed, complex, and full of a wide variety of characters and locations, any filmmaker who attempted to take it on would have a huge task ahead of him/her. So I've decided to help them out by doing the casting for them:

Rachel McAdams as Claire Beauchamp:

Chris Hemsworth as Jamie Fraser:

Jonathan Rhys Meyers as "Black Jack" Randall:

Ionn Gruffud as Frank Randall:

Blake Lively as Brianna Randall

With all the fans out there, and the huge success that the series has enjoyed, I can't imagine that they won't make some type of film version of this. If I do say so myself, I think that I have chosen a perfect cast. A little red hair dye and that's that.

'celeb transformations!' (ugh can't believe i just typed that...)

Charlize Theron as Aileen Wuornos in Monster

There is nothing I like more than a good old-fashioned story about pretty-girl-turns-ugly, skinny-girl-get-chubby, hot-guy-gets-hotter, girl-shaves-head. Hmmm. Okay what I'm really talking about are celebrities and the cool transformations they make for movies. Here a few of my very favorites example.

Natalie Portman shaved her head for V for Vendetta

Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones and now

???????

I love it when a beautiful woman isn't afraid to look bad (Charlize.) I also love seeing a woman embrace her curves and, slap on some red lipstick, and enjoy being boobylicious (Renee), although I'm not so thrilled with the near-skeletal proportions she's reached nowadays. I also know how weird and attached girls can be to their hair, and I think people can forget what a big deal it is to chop it all off (Natalie) - and, of course, she still looks gorgeous! And Gerard's transformation into Leonidas isn't so much a transformation as body paint, a costume, and special effects...But maybe I just wanted an excuse to look at him? Next up, I want to see Keira Knightly as Susan Boyle in a film biopic. She needs it.

don't ask me why: harvey keitel

As previously mentioned, I'm engaged in a strange love affair with Harvey Keitel. Strange because he's not particularly attractive, he seems kinda dirty, and um...he was born in 1939.

I can't explain it. Maybe it's because he's been in some amazing movies, like Reservoir Dogs, Taxi Driver,and Pulp Fiction. He also really stepped out of the box for a romantic role in one of my favorite movies of all time. More recently, in the ultimate highlight of his career, he appeared in a Jay-Z video.

Or maybe because he's the consummate tough-guy-New-Yorker? (After all, I'm a Texan, so what is actually a kinda grating accent and bad manners seems all cool and exotic to me.) He also has good tastes in women; he was involved with Lorraine Bracco, of The Sopranos and Goodfellas fame and a walking stereotype in her own right, for over a decade.

Not to mention he made one of my favorite commercials ever:



So why, do you ask? Oh, I don't know. After all, you can't choose who you love.

my underwhelming post-oscar special

So the Oscars were okay. I mean, I never really enjoy them as much as I think I'm going to. But there were a few really fabulous moments.

For instance, I usually don't laugh out loud during awards shows. But here's the exception:





And, of course I loved Anne Hathaway and James Franco's opening montage. They weren't stellar hosts, but I enjoyed them. Anne Hathaway is really a pleasure to watch - She seems like she'd be fun to hang out with. Franco is nice to look at but...eh.

And yay, yay, yay - Colin Firth won Best Actor!  He gave a very gracious and charming acceptance speech. It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

My picks for best dressed:

Halle Berry - I LOVE nude colored gowns, especially ones with a little sparkle. Just like this one.

Mila Kunis. I have one word for this gown: Pretty!

Reese Witherspoon. The gown is tasteful, but not stunning. I picked her mostly because I loved her big Texas-style ponytail and green earrings.

Helena Bonham Carter. I love her kookinesss. As much as I loved Halle, Mila, and Reese's styles, I would've been disappointed if Helena showed up looking like them. So I was fond of her dress and her cool shout-out to her homeland.

my underwhelming pre-oscar special

It's Oscar night!!! I don't have any educated predictions. But I do have one very strongly held opinion: Colin Firth needs to win Best Actor. Besides that, whatever.

I am super excited for the red carpet, as always. There are certain celebrities who I really love fashion-wise and am always excited to see what they're wearing. So I will definitely be looking for them tonight! Here they are, in a few my favorite past Academy Award get-ups.

Nicole Kidman:

cool and composed, as always

Cate Blanchett:

lovely in yellow

Angelina Jolie:

loved those green earrings

Gwyneth Paltrow

nearly the same color as my prom dress :)

keep your golden globes in your dress

I'm coming late to the party, but I just have to throw in my two cents on the Golden Globes. It's an open secret that the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is the Tammany Hall of the showbiz world. But it's no skin off my nose that the whole thing is rigged and corrupt, and I adore Ricky Gervais, so I watched it like everyone else.

First, red carpet fashion. I fully understand the irony of this situation, especially considering that I pretty much live in Uggs and would happily shop on overstock.com for the rest of my life. However, I do happen to have some strong opinions about a few fashion-related things. I'm also pretty confident that if I had the time and inclination to fret over what I wore, employed a personal stylist, and had designers throwing gowns at me, I'd be able to put together a decent look for the Golden Globes. So you'd think these people would be able to manage.

But my tastes, apparently, don't match up well with the general consensus. My favorite dresses of the night, worn by Anne Hathaway and Leighton Meester, were ones that most people didn't seem to like that much. They have one thing in common: Sleeves. I think that sleeved dresses can be incredibly elegant. To me it boils down to a matter of balance. Back, boobs, arms, legs. Pick one or two and show them off. Don't go for three or four at once. (Are you listening, January Jones?) Anne Hathaway's gown was backless and Leighton Meester's gown showed a lot of leg. They've got it right, in my opinion. It's an aesthetic that I keep in mind on those occasions when I actually do put forth a little effort.

Leighton Meester

January Jones

Also, despite the huge amount of flack he's gotten for it, I LOVED Ricky Gervais as host. So he didn't coddle the celebrities. He made some mean but on-the-mark jokes. He's a comedian - It's what he does. And he was funny. These people take themselves far too seriously if they can't understand that, because they have chosen to live their lives in the public eye, they are going to be subject to public embarrassment from time to time. They can go home to their mansions, and I can laugh at them with Ricky Gervais. Boo friggin hoo. Here's a video of his controversial opening monologue:



 The Social Network and Glee won a bunch of stuff. Cool. I love Glee and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I loved that the acceptance speech included a shout-out to hardworking public school teachers, which was extremely refreshing after Mr. De Niro's antics, ahem. I've never seen The Social Network and have no interest whatsoever in it, so moot point.

Finally, I love Robert Downey, Jr. and Johnny Depp very very much, but they're both starting to resemble bag ladies. In contrast, I really like this kinda Leonardo DiCaprio hair thing that guys are doing. It's very classy. Case in point: Chris Hemsworth (sigh) and some other guy with great hair.

Thanks for hanging in there with me. My brain is all floppy after the holidays. (My last three blog posts have related to alcohol and famous people.) That being said, I'm excited for the Oscars! Another excellent chance to observe the bizarre behavior of celebrities in their natural habitat.

love her: emma watson

Emma Watson (aka Hermione Granger) is 20 years old, living in student housing at Brown University, and has lived on a $75/week allowance throughout much of her career. She is also worth about $32 million. In her Vogue UK interview (she's the December cover girl), Emma reveals that she literally had no idea how rich she was until her father told her when she was 17. (Here's the article.)

I think that Emma Watson is a perfect example of child star who is doing things the right way. She's clearly very intelligent and level-headed, but I'm sure it also has a lot to do with having parents who won't sell her up the river for a little extra publicity. She seems to have made a conscious effort over the years to not become a fixture in the Hollywood scene or provide fodder for tabloids.

This is a far cry from Lindsay, Paris, Miley, and yes even "good girl" Taylor. Emma Watson has chosen to pursue higher education, spend/save her fortune wisely, and NOT embarrass herself by acting like a little floozy around L.A. And it's not because she's not pretty, talented, or famous - She's all of those things. It's because, on top of all that, she's got a good head on her shoulders. Kudos to you, Emma!

haterade: taylor swift

My most recent wave of vitriol toward Taylor Swift has arisen because of her latest c.d. release, her appearance on the cover of People, and the news that she is dating Jake Gyllenhaal. (I'm not particularly fond of Jake, but he did date my girl Reese Witherspoon for a long time. You've made a big downgrade, pervo.) And now that Taylor Swift is dating someone who has a somewhat serious film career, I will be forced to see and hear her even more often than usual, which is just very unfortunate. I really wish that someone would smack her. Me preferably, but I would settle for someone else doing it and me being able to watch.

omg so hardcore

First of all, I don't think she's very creative or talented. There are a lot of very skilled and inspired female singer/songwriters out there who do the same thing Swiftie does except, um, much much better. So why exactly Taylor is so special, I do not know. I mean, yes her music is catchy...I suppose. But so is the Free Credit Report.com jingle. Actually much catchier.

And I'm sorry, but I can't really take anyone who writes heartbreak songs after the demise of like a 5-week romance with one of the Jonas brothers seriously. Get a grip, girl. Keep that crap to your diary, don't make the rest of us listen to it over...and over...and over. Taylor Swift is one of the main reasons that I no longer change my tuner from NPR and AM Radio. (I'm not joking. There are several factors in my abandonment of music radio, but she is definitely one of them.) If I stray beyond there, I might hear one of her songs for the 1458th time and my ear drums will start to bleed. I just. Can't. Take. It. Anymore.

And, by the way, am I the only person who is driven crazy by these asinine lyrics: You were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter/ And Daddy said stay away from Juliet. These words have haunted me ever since that song came out and I've been repeatedly subjected to it. I would love to ask Taylor what exactly she's talking about. Does she know what either a scarlet letter or The Scarlet Letter is? Does she understand that it is completely unrelated and makes no sense in her song, not even in an abstract metaphorical sense? This may be nitpicky and petty, but I don't care. It bugs me. Taylor should lay off writing her obnoxious music and pick up a book or something.


Ok, I got it off my chest. I know I'm being mean. But it's not exactly like she's minding her own business. Mind you, I make an actual effort to avoid her but cannot. So she started it.

the women they're dating instead of you

I realize that I might have strange tastes in men because I think Brad Pitt is kinda gross and I want to beat up Chace Crawford. So not everyone will find this post as interesting as me, but what the hell. Here are the women that my favorite stars are dating instead of me. I'm working it out.

Danielle Spencer - She's Russell Crowe's wifey-poo. And she seems like a nice lady. She's an Australian singer-songwriter. I fully anticipated her music to be hilarious in a bad way, but she's actually got a kinda cool Tori Amos thing going on.

Kate Bosworth. Yep, the chick from Blue Crush and....um...nothing? I'm still trying to figure out why exactly she's famous. Whatever she has is working apparently because she's snagged Alexander Skarsgard, a tall Swedish glass of water aka Eric on True Blood.

Satsuki Mitchell. A Japanese-American producer who's smooshing James Bond (Daniel Craig, sigh). I dig her because she's a career woman and, considering there is very little information on the web about her, apparently pretty normal.

Anne-Marie Duff. This English actress is married to James McAvoy, that scrappy little Scotsman I've adored ever since Atonement. She's played Queen Elizabeth, is almost a decade older than her husband, is pasty, and works closely with a campaign against domestic abuse in the UK, so I pretty much adore her.

With the puzzling exception of Kate Bosworth, I think that my fellas have pretty good tastes. Well done, boys!