FITBF: tony, the scots, and why you're not likely to see me blush

play along at the little things we do

 

 1.   Something that makes me a great friend is, I'm always down for alcoholic beverages, junk food, incessant amounts of trash talk, and the encouragement of all your bad habits. Everyone needs a friend like me, haha.

2.  I am a wannabe female Anthony Bourdain. I spend strange amounts of time trying to conceive a gimmick that will land me my own Travel Channel show. I toy around with travel writing - also a la the fabulous Mr. Bourdain. (By the way, have you read A Cook's Tour? You need to.)

3.  I am not dainty. And I don't mean I look like an NFL linebacker or anything. I mean that it's hard to shock me. As some of you know, I have a foul mouth and indelicate sensibilities. So if I'm acting truly offended by a joke you just told, chances are I'm pulling your chain. 

4.  If I had to describe myself in 3 words, they would be brainy, capricious, tough.

5.  Something I'm really cheap about is purses. Really. I don't think I've ever spent more than 50 bucks on a purse. I have several inexpensive purses in neutral colors that have lasted me forever and go with everything I own. I suspect I've saved a lot of money over the years.

6.  Something I'm willing to splurge on is  food and booze. I fancy myself a gourmand and I only drink top-shelf stuff. Also, I am a sucker for perfume and sunglasses. 

7.  I would trade my entire summer vacation for just one or two more weeks in the Scottish highlands in a heartbeat. One summer I traveled to Edinburgh and Inverness. I was on cloud nine. The history, the greenery, the rain, the cold, the people, the food, the pubs...They all suit my temperament and interests perfectly. I have a lot of other places on my list, but I have to get back to Scotland no matter what.

Inverness - via Cathy Rodgers on Pinterest

power

The poem I'm loving this week deals mostly with my fledgling feminist views:

"Power" - Adrienne Rich 

Living in the earth-deposits of our history

Today a backhoe divulged out of a crumbling flank of earth
one bottle amber perfect a hundred-year-old
cure for fever or melancholy a tonic
for living on this earth in the winters of this climate.

Today I was reading about Marie Curie:
she must have known she suffered from radiation sickness
her body bombarded for years by the element
she had purified
It seems she denied to the end
the source of the cataracts on her eyes
the cracked and suppurating skin of her finger-ends
till she could no longer hold a test-tube or a pencil

She died a famous woman denying
her wounds
denying
her wounds came from the same source as her power.

FITBF: or, why I shall be a 28-year-old bibliophile forever

go here to play along!

via alisburda on etsy

My most prized possession is my book collection. I literally have an entire library in my house - many of which I haven't even read yet, so anytime I want to read something new I can just peruse my own shelves instead of going to the book store. (I still do, though, constantly - It's a compulsion; hence my massive collection. I like to think that it's healthier than a shoe or purse obsession.)

If I could be one age for the rest of my life, I would want to be...I haven't gotten there yet, but my guess would be 27 or 28. I like to think I'll be a lot more savvy, independent, and seasoned at that age than I am now, but still have plenty of youthful optimism and freedom. (There is no way in hell I would ever want to be younger than 21 ever again...for obvious reasons.)


The best way to spend a weekend is having one crazy night out, one peaceful night in, and lots and lots of sleep.

My outlook on life is ever-evolving, but right now it can be best summed up as:

via ThisCleverGirl on Pinterest

If you want to annoy me, just wear apathy and willful ignorance like a badge of honor. Like proudly tell me that you don't care about the news or politics (this become unacceptable once you get past the age of 17), or that you "hate reading." (Not enjoying reading is one thing - Saying that you hate it just really irritates me and kinda grosses me out.) Yep, that'll definitely do the trick.

I am completely defenseless when it comes to ASPCA ads. I'm pretty stoic about most things, but for whatever reason I can't watch these ads without wanting to cry. They shamelessly prey upon the viewer's emotions and - guess what - it works. It's a great cause, and I gladly donate money to the ASPCA monthly, but I just can't watch them. View at your own risk.

(And I fully realize how strange it is that I, and a lot of other people, get more tearful over this kind of stuff than they do over, say, the situation in the DRC. The good news is that most of us know how ridiculous that is. In my own defense, I will also throw out there that I've dealt with personal loss and intense physical pain in the past without shedding a tear, either. I cannot explain this incongruity. I'll leave that to the shrinks.)

eros

I've been in a funk the past few days (or in more a funk that usual). I stumbled across this poem and it kind of resounded with me. Shoot me a message if you know what I mean.

"Eros"

I had drawn my chair to the hotel window, to watch the rain.

I was in a kind of dream or trance--

in love, and yet

I wanted nothing.

It seemed unncecessary to touch you, to see you again.

I wanted only this:

the room, the chair, the sound of the rain falling,

hour after hour, in the warmth of the spring night.

I needed nothing more; I was utterly sated.

My heart had become small; it took very little to fill it.

I watched the rain falling in heavy sheets over the darkened

       city--

You were not concerned; I could let you

live as you needed to live.

At dawn the rain abated. I did the things

one does in daylight, I acquitted myself,

but I moved like a sleepwalker.

It was enough and it no longer involved you.

A few days in a strange city.

A conversation, the touch of a hand.

And afterward, I took off my wedding ring.

That was what I wanted: to be naked.

- Ellen Bryan Voigt

why my ears are smiling this week

Here's what my iPod's been playing pretty much non-stop this week. I've been rediscovering some bands I OD'ed on a few years back but never fell out of love with. We just needed a little time apart so we could learn to appreciate one another again.

17 - Kings of Leon

I haven't gotten over these guys or their Only by the Night album - and I hope I never do.




Skeletons - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Absolutely beautiful song, awesome creepy video. Karen O is my girl.



Misery - Maroon 5

Yes, I confess: I had completely forgotten about this song until I saw the Glee cover last week. How could I do such a thing? (By the way, this is a super sexy/funny video a la Crybaby).



What Goes Around...Comes Around & My Love - Justin Timberlake

This album (FutureSex/LoveSounds) marks the highlight of his career. I don't know if he can ever top it. I STILL love both of these songs and videos, and I'm generally not even into this kind of music. (Love you, JT, even if I get the feeling you probably are kind of a douche in real life.)

FITBF: March 17

click here to play along :)

1. The best deal I've ever gotten is my clearance puppy. Seriously. I feel like I talk about my dog way too much on here. Never fear, I don't have some weird obsession and don't plan on stuffing him when he dies (*tear*). But he's the legitimate answer to this question: When I went to get my dog, I originally wanted his sister (who was all white), but the little old man selling them told me that he wanted to keep her for breeding purposes. He then sweetened the deal on Sammy by knocking off $50 from the original price. Couldn't say no to a deal like that, could I?


2. If I were hosting a dinner party and could invite people from my fantasy guest list it would include (I'm going to take this literally and only include people who are living today, although my inner history nerd is salivating at the idea of dinner with Winston Churchill): Ricky Gervais, Steve Carrell, Ellen DeGeneres, and Tina Fey (for obvious reasons); Angelina Jolie (because I want to be her - I'd probably make her really uncomfortable),  Prince Harry (because he'd obviously just fall immediately & madly in love with me), and George W. Bush (just cause). 

jolie, unhcr goodwill ambassador

michael scott + david brent = heaven

and what!

 

3. Something that inspires me is reading the biographies of tough broads: Eleanor of Aquitaine,  Josephine Bonaparte, and Joan Root are those I've read about most recently.

4. If I could only choose to eat one flavor of food for the rest of eternity (sweet, salty, spicy, bitter....) I would have to go with SALTY. I am a salt fiend - I dump it on everything I eat! (I will also die of heart disease.)

5. I dream about being late and/or running behind. It's very weird; I will wake up in a panic because I've been dreaming that I'm running late, only to discover that it's 2:45 am. It happens at least once a week.

6. My weekend will be spent writing a unit plan on Victorian literature. Hello, Dickens.

7. If I could only watch one movie or TV show for the rest of my life it would be The Office. I'm not as in love with it as I used to be, but it is still one of my very favorite television shows of all time. It always puts me in a good mood, and there are some parts that make me laugh out loud no matter how many times I see them. Case in point: Pretty much everything Dwight does.

 

why my ears are smiling this week

Here's what I've been listening to pretty much non-stop this week. (I warn you, it's been a strange one.)

1. "I'm Not In Love" - 10 CC

I'm not in love
So don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
So just because I call you up
Don't get it wrong
Don't think you've got it made




2. "Gewinner" - Clueso

This song is in German, and I have no idea what it means...But I like the sound of it.



 3. "The Thrill Is Gone" - BB King feat. Eric Clapton

This is my favorite version of this classic, from the album 80.



4. "Read My Mind" - The Killers


Never really gave up on
Breakin' out of this two-star town
I've got the green light
I've got a little fight
I'm gonna turn this thing around
Can you read my mind?



5. "C'est si bon" - Eartha Kitt

This song will make you want to wrap yourself in mink and eat a baguette.

la belle dame sans merci

The poem I'm loving this week is a bit of a throw-back. It's from the famous Romantic poet John Keats, and it's a ballad of la belle dame sans merci; the beautiful woman without mercy. (You go, girl.) It's longer than usual, but well worth the read. It tells a chilling and lovely story and has inspired quite a bit of artwork, some of which I've included here. Enjoy.

O WHAT can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge has wither’d from the lake,
And no birds sing.
II. O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms!
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The squirrel’s granary is full,
And the harvest’s done.
III. I see a lily on thy brow
With anguish moist and fever dew,
And on thy cheeks a fading rose
Fast withereth too.
IV. I met a lady in the meads,
Full beautiful—a faery’s child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light,
And her eyes were wild.
V. I made a garland for her head,
And bracelets too, and fragrant zone;
She look’d at me as she did love,
And made sweet moan.
VI. I set her on my pacing steed,
And nothing else saw all day long,
For sidelong would she bend, and sing
A faery’s song.
VII. She found me roots of relish sweet,
And honey wild, and manna dew,
And sure in language strange she said—
“I love thee true.”
VIII. She took me to her elfin grot,
And there she wept, and sigh’d fill sore,
And there I shut her wild wild eyes
With kisses four.
IX. And there she lulled me asleep,
And there I dream’d—Ah! woe betide!
The latest dream I ever dream’d
On the cold hill’s side.
X. I saw pale kings and princes too,
Pale warriors, death-pale were they all;
They cried—“La Belle Dame sans Merci
Hath thee in thrall!”
XI. I saw their starved lips in the gloam,
With horrid warning gaped wide,
And I awoke and found me here,
On the cold hill’s side.
XII. And this is why I sojourn here,
Alone and palely loitering,
Though the sedge is wither’d from the lake,
And no birds sing.

FITBF: March 11

go to the little things we do to play along

My biggest accomplishment in life thus far is getting BA's in both English and History while managing to stay on the Dean's List, have a job, and maintain some semblance of a social life the whole time. It was hard work. Only to be topped when I finish my Master's...If I don't drop dead from exhaustion first!

My favorite place to sit in my house is on my front porch or in my bed. If I'm not there, I'm usually on a big comfy chair that's sitting in the corner of my bedroom. My house is full of big plush furniture. It's a lounger's paradise.

My fashion philosophy is classic and comfortable. I wear a lot of blue jeans. I have a pretty massive cardigan collection - It's my staple wardrobe item, and I wear them year-round. I don't really wear jewelry and I'm not too interested in shoes. I do have a few pairs of really beautiful heels, but other than that I stick to tennis shoes, flip flops, topsiders, and cowboys boots (which I'm wearing right now - Yeehaw!)


Something every girl should have is at least one bottle of high-quality, knock-em-dead perfume. I have quite a few of them - That's really my main splurge item when it comes to beauty products. Right now I'm loving Flowerbomb by Viktor & Rolf and Lola by Marc Jacobs. (And yes, I am one of those women who wears way too much perfume.)

If you looked in my purse right now you'd find car keys, gum, about three variations of chapstick/lip gloss, a few receipts, a pocket knife in the shape of a pink grenade (cute, right?), a coin purse, a bottle of Twilight Woods hand lotion from B&B Works, a few pens, and my iPod. I never seem to have my phone with me, but I never leave home without my iPod.

My favorite music right now is the soundtrack from Glee. I really love how they've freshened up a lot of older show-tunes in order to reach a new audience: "Don't Rain on My Parade," "Funny Girl," and "Maybe This Time" are a few of my faves. Although my favorite Glee song of all time is Lea Michele and Idina Menzel's rendition of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face."



My favorite part of my body is probably my eyes. They can look either blue, green, or gray on any given day. Eyes are the perfect built-in accessory for any girl.

a lament for the bamiyan buddhas

This week marked a very sad ten-year-anniversary. In 2001, two beautiful 6th-century standing buddhas carved into a cliff-side in the Bamiyan valley (a lovely region of central Afghanistan) were destroyed by the Taliban, who were seeking to eliminate all pre-Islamic and "idolatrous" artifacts from the country.

When it happened, I don't think the magnitude of this loss, in cultural, religious, and historical terms, registered with me. (I was thirteen at the time.) Now it makes me want to cry every time I think about it. The buddhas, which once overlooked an ancient monastery, survived over 1,500 years of natural wear & tear, war, and several invasions, only to be destroyed by some assholes with dynamite out of of sheer cruel small-mindedness.

There has been a movement, both within Afghanistan and around the globe, to reconstruct these statues. UNESCO is meeting in Paris this week to discuss the future of the site, i.e. whether to rebuild or simply preserve what is left. Here's the story.

I can't decide whether or not I think rebuilding them is a good idea. At first, I'm all for it. But then I think that maybe leaving these empty spaces in the cliffs, like scars, would serve as a reminder to us all of the absolute finality of the losses suffered in religious conflicts. These beautiful statues were casualties in an wide, tragic, and still-raging war on religious tolerance. Maybe they could be rebuilt, but it wouldn't be the same. And, lest we forget, human lives certainly cannot be reconstructed.

Okay, it is a Saturday night - Enough sad realities. Time to relax and have some fun. Hope you have a good one, too.

love her: helena bonham carter

I love kooky celebrities. And Helena Bonham Carter is about as kooky as they come. I love her for choosing 'out-there' roles (including Marla Singer and Bellatrix Lestrange, my two faves to-date), for being married to Tim Burton (brave lady), and for never seeming to give a fig about what other people think. She strikes me as a very interesting and confident woman.

And because she's so unusual, I think some people forget how pretty she is. Here's a few of my favorite photographs of her:

Don't you just love her, too?

don't ask me why: australia

So Australia, a Baz Luhrmann-directed epic romance, was basically eaten alive by critics, didn't do so great at the box office, and was widely considered to be very disappointing. Well - surprise! - I actually loved it. And, when people see it among my DVD collection, I inevitably get made fun of for it.

It's the love story of an English aristocrat (Nicole Kidman) and the Aussie equivalent of a cowboy, a drover (Hugh Jackman). The first half has all the trappings of a Western: dusty wilderness, a long & dangerous cattle drive, stampedes, life on the outback, etc. The second half depicts the beginning of the World War II and the role that Australia played in it. It's intertwines some valuable social and military history, such as the "Stolen Generation" (the removal of Aboriginal children from their families by the Australian government) and the Japanese attack on Darwin and Northern Australia.

I guess it's overly ambitious. It's quite long and attempts to be too many things. But watching it always puts me in a good mood: Kidman and Jackman are always delightful, the film actually provides some great insight into Australian history, and it features some gorgeous cinematography. Not to mention, it's a lovely romantic tale. So, even though it's goofy, it's also highly entertaining and a fabulous tribute to a fascinating part of the world. Here's the trailer:



Watch it! If you hate it, like a lot of people apparently did, then at least you tried. And if you adore it, like I do, then don't feel too guilty about it. After all, you can't help what you love.

epitaph on a tyrant

With figures like Mubarak and Gadhafi dominating the news lately, and the fact that you can't open a history book without stumbling across one brutal despot or another, and finally because I've been teaching students about Hitler and Stalin this past week, I have had tyrants on the brain.

For your reading pleasure:

caligul

" Epitaph on a Tyrant"
 
Perfection, of a kind, was what he was after,
And the poetry he invented was easy to understand;
He knew human folly like the back of his hand,
And he was greatly interested in armies and fleets;
When he laughed, respectable senators burst with
          laughter,
And when he cried the little children died in the streets.

- W.H. Auden

my stint as a casting director

So I'm constantly hearing rumors about film/mini-series adaptations of Diana Gabaldon's amazing Outlander saga. For those of you who haven't read it, it's a romantic-historical-science fiction tale about a British woman who is transported back into the 18th century Scottish highlands. It's a wonderfully engrossing series that I highly recommend.

The downside is that, because the stories are so detailed, complex, and full of a wide variety of characters and locations, any filmmaker who attempted to take it on would have a huge task ahead of him/her. So I've decided to help them out by doing the casting for them:

Rachel McAdams as Claire Beauchamp:

Chris Hemsworth as Jamie Fraser:

Jonathan Rhys Meyers as "Black Jack" Randall:

Ionn Gruffud as Frank Randall:

Blake Lively as Brianna Randall

With all the fans out there, and the huge success that the series has enjoyed, I can't imagine that they won't make some type of film version of this. If I do say so myself, I think that I have chosen a perfect cast. A little red hair dye and that's that.

FITBF: or, why i seriously love my dog, hulu, and stinky cheese

go here to play along

The phrase or punctuation I overuse the most is "seriously." I am seriously hungry. You seriously need to stop. Seriously, you are way too good for him. Seriously? Seriously? Are you serious right now? (When someone's being a smart-ass and I can't come up with something witty to say.)
You get the idea.

Today I am thankful for Hulu Plus. I've been vegging on the couch with the NBC Thursday night lineup, and it's Friday. Yay!

My best friend is my dog. I love all my people friends dearly, but my dog Sammy has been my most loyal and lovable little companion through five stressful years of school, several moves, and a heartbreak or two. They don't call them man's best friend for nothing.

A quirky thing about me is that I'm not really a fan of chocolate.  I'd rather get blocks of cheese than a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day...no, seriously. I love gourmet aged cheese, the stinkier the better.

This weekend I will finish reading The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, just in time for a book club meeting next weekend.

Something that worries me is finding a real job. I'll be officially on the hunt as soon as I complete my certification, and I know it's going to be an uphill climb.

On my night stand you would find a bedside lamp, my Kindle, another little stack of books for good measure (right now it's Persuasion by Jane Austen, The Mummy by Anne Rice, and Barrel Fever by David Sedaris), a jewelry dish, and a glass of water.

why my ears are smiling this week

The five songs my iPod's been playing pretty much non-stop this week. They're not all hits, and they're not all recent, but they are all fabulous.


1. "I Want Love" - Elton John

But I want love, just a different kind
I want love, won't break me down
Won't brick me up, won't fence me in
I want a love that don't mean a thing 
That's the love I want, I want love

What a lovely, understated music video. Gotta love EJ and RDJ.



2. "Welcome to England" - Tori Amos

I'm in quicksand; I am sinking fast
Perfect, he laughed
Cause your other half has got a Devil's access
Welcome to England, he said
Welcome to my world
You better bring your own sun, sweet girl

One of my very Tori Amos favorite songs - and I love pretty much everything she does. The video is eerie and beautiful, which is what I've come to expect from her.




3. "This Ain't a Long Song" - Scouting for Girls

It's all right
You can try, but you'll never keep me down
It's all right
I may be lost but I'm waiting to be found

I discovered these guys on a Graham Norton rerun - And I love them! The lyrics are a bit inane, but it's upbeat and catchy...A perfect non-depressing breakup song, if you need one. (Who doesn't?)



4."Tainted Love" - Soft Cell

You need someone to hold you tight 
And you think love is to pray
Well I'm sorry, I don't pray that way

Pure old-school pleasure.



5. "Born This Way" - Lady GaGa

It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M
Just put your paws up
'Cause you were born this way, baby

So unless you've been living under a rock you've probably heard this song a million times and seen the video at least once. But I'm not tired of it yet. I've had it set as my wake-up alarm this week, and I've been rolling out of bed with a little extra oomph. The video is crazy, of course, and a little self-important...But I guess I wasn't expecting anything less. Props to her for looking fabulous. And I think I already have a Halloween costume for this year! (Pink hair, skull face paint, and girlie tux? Yup.)

'celeb transformations!' (ugh can't believe i just typed that...)

Charlize Theron as Aileen Wuornos in Monster

There is nothing I like more than a good old-fashioned story about pretty-girl-turns-ugly, skinny-girl-get-chubby, hot-guy-gets-hotter, girl-shaves-head. Hmmm. Okay what I'm really talking about are celebrities and the cool transformations they make for movies. Here a few of my very favorites example.

Natalie Portman shaved her head for V for Vendetta

Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones and now

???????

I love it when a beautiful woman isn't afraid to look bad (Charlize.) I also love seeing a woman embrace her curves and, slap on some red lipstick, and enjoy being boobylicious (Renee), although I'm not so thrilled with the near-skeletal proportions she's reached nowadays. I also know how weird and attached girls can be to their hair, and I think people can forget what a big deal it is to chop it all off (Natalie) - and, of course, she still looks gorgeous! And Gerard's transformation into Leonidas isn't so much a transformation as body paint, a costume, and special effects...But maybe I just wanted an excuse to look at him? Next up, I want to see Keira Knightly as Susan Boyle in a film biopic. She needs it.

haterade: giant squid

Am I the only person who is just incredibly freaked out by the idea of the giant squid? I guess I'm a bit behind, but I had no idea these things were real. I recently found out that researchers from the Japan's National Science Museum actually caught one on film. And, unlike in Harry Potter, apparently giant squids are not likely to let you tickle their tentacles. This news has completely changed my entire perspective on life.

omigod

 Why I will have nightmares about giant squids tonight:

1. The one they got was 24 feet long, and it's a small one. They actually are estimated to reach nearly 60 feet in length, although they live so deep down in the ocean that they're very difficult to observe in the wild.

are you serious

2. They're vicious! I just read about a poor dead female who was dismembered and washed up on shore in Tazmania, apparently the victim of what can only be called squid rape. What's the world coming to. (By the way, I'm talking about a female squid, not human...eesh.)

3. Giant squids have beaks and circular saw-like suckers. I repeat: beaks & tentacles of death.

4. These things have only one known predator: Sperm whales. Sperm whales are the largest living animals with teeth. Moby Dick was one. They're huge and scary. And they're the only thing in the wild that can take on a giant squid. Sooo.

team sperm whale!

As you may recall, I get upset about animal extinction. But if all giant squids were suddenly to collectively disappear from the face of the earth, I think I'd get over.

Great news! There's another species of squid out there know as the Colossal Squid, which may or may not be scarier than the Giant Squid. Well, that's fun.

hot "feminists" round 2

FEMEN strikes again! Remember that topless protest held for Putin I blogged about back in October? Well, they're still around, and making news again. This time, over a New Zealand radio station's "Win a Wife" contest, in which they promised to send a listener to Ukraine to find a mail-order bride.

Signs read "Ukraine is not a brothel." And they were topless....again. As I've said before, I find this a very bizarre way to handle a feminist agenda. I do definitely get, however, how insulting it would be to hear that you and your countrywomen are the "prizes" in a radio give-away in another country. (Ouch.) So I'll keep saying what I said before: Do what you do, ladies.

Picketing in front of a marriage registration office in Kiev. Photo: AP

this one's for the fat kids

 An Arizona school district is causing a big fat stink. Here's a segment from an editorial on the subject:

Beginning this fall the [Flagstaff school] district will measure and weigh elementary-school children and send letters to parents whose children are overweight or heading that way....we'd like to see the Flagstaff schools' program expanded statewide. Obesity is a public-health problem of monumental proportions (and no, the pun isn't intended) in this state and nationwide.

Since I haven’t read the Flagstaff school’s official policy, perhaps I shouldn’t pick it apart…But I will anyway.

In an era of eating disorders and body image issues (very eloquently described by Marya Hornbacher), it seems very dangerous and petty to pick out students who appear to be “on the way” to becoming overweight. How would a school nurse possibly know enough about a student’s personal life to be able to distinguish between a little lingering baby fat and a sedentary lifestyle? They would have to go on appearance and/or personal judgment alone - which is dangerous, especially considering that there are many healthy kids out there who might technically be overweight.

And can you imagine for one moment how horrifying and humiliating it would be to be picked out as one of the fat kids? Most elementary-age children think they're awesome; it doesn't occur to them that they're not until they go through those hellish middle school years. They'll have plenty of time to feel shitty about themselves then. And another thing: Parents with overweight kids usually know they're overweight. They either handle the situation at home or they don't. Getting a letter from the school wouldn't change a dang thing.

I tend to be a social libertarian, so that might tell you how I feel about the political/social ramifications of all this, nevermind the poor babies' self-esteems. This Arizona situation lends itself very well to a discussion about Michelle Obama's anti-obesity campaign, which I will save for another day.

Obesity is an epidemic, there’s no doubt about it – and it does always start with being slightly overweight. So I think schools do owe it to students to provide nutritious meal options, promote healthy activities, and educate young people about good lifestyle habits. That doesn’t include sending out official “Hey, your kid’s getting fat!” or “It’s come to our attention your child is a lard-ass!” letters.

Bad idea, if you ask me. As always, I could be wrong.

don't ask me why: harvey keitel

As previously mentioned, I'm engaged in a strange love affair with Harvey Keitel. Strange because he's not particularly attractive, he seems kinda dirty, and um...he was born in 1939.

I can't explain it. Maybe it's because he's been in some amazing movies, like Reservoir Dogs, Taxi Driver,and Pulp Fiction. He also really stepped out of the box for a romantic role in one of my favorite movies of all time. More recently, in the ultimate highlight of his career, he appeared in a Jay-Z video.

Or maybe because he's the consummate tough-guy-New-Yorker? (After all, I'm a Texan, so what is actually a kinda grating accent and bad manners seems all cool and exotic to me.) He also has good tastes in women; he was involved with Lorraine Bracco, of The Sopranos and Goodfellas fame and a walking stereotype in her own right, for over a decade.

Not to mention he made one of my favorite commercials ever:



So why, do you ask? Oh, I don't know. After all, you can't choose who you love.

my underwhelming post-oscar special

So the Oscars were okay. I mean, I never really enjoy them as much as I think I'm going to. But there were a few really fabulous moments.

For instance, I usually don't laugh out loud during awards shows. But here's the exception:





And, of course I loved Anne Hathaway and James Franco's opening montage. They weren't stellar hosts, but I enjoyed them. Anne Hathaway is really a pleasure to watch - She seems like she'd be fun to hang out with. Franco is nice to look at but...eh.

And yay, yay, yay - Colin Firth won Best Actor!  He gave a very gracious and charming acceptance speech. It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

My picks for best dressed:

Halle Berry - I LOVE nude colored gowns, especially ones with a little sparkle. Just like this one.

Mila Kunis. I have one word for this gown: Pretty!

Reese Witherspoon. The gown is tasteful, but not stunning. I picked her mostly because I loved her big Texas-style ponytail and green earrings.

Helena Bonham Carter. I love her kookinesss. As much as I loved Halle, Mila, and Reese's styles, I would've been disappointed if Helena showed up looking like them. So I was fond of her dress and her cool shout-out to her homeland.